


Epic Saga Flashbacks

by bushidobunny, Winnychan



Series: Epic Saga [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types, Usagi Yojimbo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-09 21:34:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10422252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bushidobunny/pseuds/bushidobunny, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winnychan/pseuds/Winnychan
Summary: ((These stories are supplemental to the plot of Epic Saga, but do not necessarily need be read before beginning the actual story. Though, it is suggested. ))





	1. Confidante

The room was illuminated only by the soft flickering glow which was cast by the swirl of colors that made up the screen saver on the open laptop screen. The piece of technology was long since abandoned by its owner, who now sat on his bed, pushed back as far into the corner as he could manage. Donatello’s legs were tucked tightly against his plastron, his forehead pressed against the pads which covered his knees.

Each night seemed to be worse than the last. Little by little the genius teen could feel his strength draining away. Every time he fell into one of these panicked states it was as though the memories became more vivid. The fog that separated him from their pain became less substantial each time his subconscious replayed them. All that he could do was sit and shake as he quietly mumbled to himself.

“Hydrogen… Helium… Lithium… Beryllium… Boron… Carbon… Nitrogen… Oxygen… Fluorine… Neon… Sodium…Magnesium… Aluminium … Silicon…Phosphorus… Sulphur… Chlorine… Argon… Potassium… Calcium… Scandium… Titanium… Vanadium… Chromium… Manganese… Iron… Cobalt…”

He could still feel the beast raging inside him, that primal and uncontrollable…. thing…

While he could not control himself in those moments, that did nothing to erase the memories of what he had become. Donnie could still hear the furious pounding of blood in his ears, could feel the slick saliva dripping down his chin as he bore down upon Casey Jones, who screamed out in fear.

He had meant to kill him. If he was not stopped…. he would have.

“Nickel… Copper… Zinc… Gallium… Germanium… Arsenic … Selenium… Bromine… Krypton… Rubidium… Strontium… Yttrium… Zirconium… Niobium… Molybdenum… Technetium… Ruthenium… Rhodium… Palladium… Silver… Cadmium… Indium… Tin… Antimony… Tellurium… Iodine…. Xenon… Caesium…Barium… Lanthanum… Cerium… Praseodymium..”

In those moments when he was alone the terrapin could still feel the agonizing sting of electricity coursing through his skull as he was tortured and interrogated.

“Neodymium… Promethium… Samarium… Europium… Gadolinium… Terbium… Dysprosium…”

The sensation of his body falling through time and space, only to be met with what could only be described as Hell on Earth.

“Holmium… Erbium… Thulium… Ytterbium…”

The harshness in Michelangelo’s voice… the metal plate that was clamped around his arm, hiding the amputated stump…

“Lutetium… Hafnium… Tantalum…”

The glazed milky white orbs that had replaced Leonardo’s brilliant crystal blue eyes.

“Tungsten… Rhenium… Osmium… Iridium… Platinum… Gold…”

The way that Raph barred his teeth at Leonardo when their sensei was mentioned.

“Mercury… Thallium… Lead…”

Their sensei…. The proud and noble ninjitsu master reduced to nothing more than a small wooden shrine hidden away in the dark recesses of the forest.

“Bismuth… Polonium…”

Donatello did not know how many more times he could see these things and be able to hold on to his sanity. Already it felt as though he was walking a razor’s edge. One small misstep would be his undoing. So, the teen was reduced to a huddling mass, sobbing quietly into the expansive empty space of his room. His tears made his voice shake as he spoke. His monotonous recital had become a nightly ritual. Elements spoken as though they were a sacred mantra. The only thing that he had found that could even vaguely help him to maintain some semblance of composure.

“Astatine… Radon… Francium… Radium… Actinium… Thorium… Protactinium…Uranium… Neptunium… Plutonium… Americium… Curium… Berkelium… Californium… Einsteinium… Fermium… Mendelevium… Nobelium…Rutherfordium….. no…. no, shit that isn’t right.”

The turtle slowly lifted his head, his eyes, long adjusted to the darkness widened in horror as his heart rate began to speed up.

“I- I meant L-lawrencium… Lawrencium… How… How could I fuck that up? Why do I always fuck everything up!?”

The last question broke his quiet resolve, it was called out into the room in desperation. The purple clad shinobi’s sobs were redoubled in intensity, his fingers dug into the skin of his legs as he rocked frantically. The recital of elements was the only thing that helped. And now, even that had been tainted. He could feel the slight traces of control that he had managed to hold on to slowly melting away as he held onto himself, the horrific images of his brother’s mangled bodies unceremoniously strewn across the dirty floor of that warehouse, Karai legion soldier’s standing triumphantly above them.

He raised his hands to his head and began to repeatedly hit himself hard enough that were he truly conscious of his actions the genius would have started seeing stars. But for now, the only thing he was truly aware of was the stream of profanity that left his lips and the tears that now streaked his cheeks as he continued his savage assault on himself.

While the genius was locked up in his room, out in the hallway the red-clad shinobi had been walking casually to his own chambers. Raphael had a Harley Davidson magazine open in one hand, which he had been glancing at as he walked down the hallway and enjoying the slice of reheated pepperoni he had managed to procure for himself before Mikey polished off the rest of the damn box.

However, his footsteps stopped on a dime as he heard his younger brother’s voice ring out into the silence of the lair. Normally, unless it was an explosion, it was never Donatello that broke the stillness, so the sound immediately peaked Raph’s curiosity… Something was wrong.

The brutish turtle half jogged the rest of the way down the hallway until he was outside of Don’s door. He could hear the swearing and what sounded like heavy blows. His eyes widened as he tried the door handle, only to discover that it was locked from the inside.

“Don! Hey, open up the damn door. The Hell is goin’ on in there?”

It seemed as though the other shinobi did not hear him at all, the troubling sounds simply continuing from behind the thick wood.

Without a second thought Raph dropped everything in his hands and took a few steps backward, bull-rushing the door which splintered on it’s hinges easily from the force of the turtle’s shoulder.

The sight that met his eyes was even more troubling than what he had been anticipating. Donatello was practically fetal and was doing a better job than most of the Purple Dragon’s could at beating the shit out of himself.

Raph launched himself onto the bed, kneeling in front of his little brother and quickly grabbing the olive skinned turtle by the wrists to stop him from continuing his assault.

“Donnie, knock it the fuck off. What the shell ya think you are doin’? I said, fuckin’ quit!”

Donatello was so far into the throws of his panic attack that he had only barely recognized what had happened. For many minutes he struggled with all his might against the hold that Raph had on him, kicking, thrashing and contorting his body in any means possible to try to escape the vice like grip that his brother had on him. All the while the genius sobbed loudly, his tears distorting his vision enough that what little of Raphael he could see through the heavy shadows looked more akin to a red and green amoeba than he did a turtle.

Strong as he may be, Donatello’s strength was simply dwarfed by his older brother, even every ounce of force that his muscles could produce were barely enough to budge the red masked ninja, who held a much more advantageous position above him. Each moment of struggle wore the already exhausted turtle down until his body gave up on him, leaving him quietly crying beneath his brother’s hulking form.

When it was obvious to him that Donatello was no longer fighting him, Raphael slowly let go of the young genius’ wrists, instead pulling his brother into an embrace. His muscular arms wrapped around his brother’s shell as the purple clad shinobi cried against the hardened bone of his battle worn plastron.

He rested his chin on top of the smooth surface of Don’s head, quietly hushing him as he stroked the scutes of the other turtle’s carapace. The older of the two was at a loss. What the shell was going on with his brother? Don had always been kind of on edge, but he had never seen him lose it like that before. No matter what they faced, Don always managed to keep himself composed. What the fuck had changed?

“ s'alright, bro. I got ya. I got ya.” It seemed a pathetic attempt to sooth his brother, but it was all that he could think to say. “Ya don’t gotta cry, everything’s alright.”

The soft words from his older brother only made Donatello’s sobs increase in intensity. Through his heaving gasps he was able to croak hoarsely against his brother’s plastron, “I’m… I’m o-okay, Raph…” The genius’s fingers dug into the deep green scales of Raph’s arms as he buried his face against the shinobi’s chest. The act of hiding his face left him feeling less vulnerable in his brother’s embrace, but Donatello still had never felt so bare and exposed before another person before in his life.

This was not something that he could logic himself out of. There were no equations or formulas, no safety of intellectual reasoning that could shield him from his own tumultuous mind. And Raph had caught him in the throes of it. Had found him when his shields were down. He doubted that there was any way that he could convince his brother that this was just stress or nerves. He rarely gave Raphael due credit, but he knew that the red clad ninja was not stupid.

And regardless of any attempt that he may want to make at convincing his brother otherwise, the way that Donatello’s sobs shook his entire body as he clutched to Raph made any argument he may present laughable at best.

“Bullshit.”

The response was gruff and loud enough that it made Don’s head snap upwards. For a moment he locked eyes with his brother, who seemed to be considering him with concerned exasperation. As Donnie once again lowered his gaze and tried to regain some composure Raph tightened his hold on him and spoke in a voice that was borderline gentle.

“I ain’t never seen ya act like this before, Don. I have seen ya look stuff in the face that would make a normal guy break down, with a cocky grin and a smart ass comment. I’ve never known ya not ta brush shit off. So… what the fuck, Don?”

Donatello took a deep and shaky breath and tried once again to calm himself. Under his breath he once again started his mantra.

“Hydrogen… Helium… Lithium… Beryllium… Boron… Carbon… Nitrogen… Oxygen… Fluorine… Neon… Sodium…Magnesium… Aluminium … Silicon…Phosphorus… Sulphur… Chlorine… Argon………”

Raph had tried to be patient with his brother as he mumbled under his breath, but patience was never his strong suit. After a few minutes, when Don’s sobs had ended and his breath seemed at least moderately in control, Raph interrupted what seemed like the never ending list. “Donnie. Talk ta me.”

The genius teen sniffled a few times before sliding his hand down to rest on the chest scutes of Raph’s plastron, using the leverage to lift himself away from his brother’s grasp. He took two deep breaths before looking up at his older brother and wiping his face on the back of his olive green hand.

“I don’t want to lose you. Any of you. And I fear that it is unavoidable.” The younger terrapin reached a hand upward, softly stroking the scales just below Raph’s left eye with the pad of his thumb and let out a heavy sigh. “I fear what the future holds.”

“Don… we ain’t goin’ anywhere. I’m sure as hell not.”

“You… don’t know that, Raph.”

“Oh and you do, Einstein?”

The question was not meant to be condescending and Donatello did not take it as such. The nickname was once a jab that Raphael would use when they were children and it used to truly get under the genius’ skin. But it had become, over the years, instead a term of endearment. A term that truly helped to defuse some of the tension that Donatello felt.

He was truly with his brother now. And he was whole. This was not the cold, callous and distant Raphael whom he had come to know in that Hellish future. This was Raph. His Raphie. Gruff and ornery at times, but still his loving brother.

The purple clad shinobi shifted on the bed slightly, just enough to allow him to rest his head against Raph’s shoulder and let out one last heavy sigh. “I saw it, Raph. I know it sounds bizarre.. but I have seen that it is possible.”

Raphael had also shifted, allowing Donatello to take up the position on his shoulder without hesitation. His brother’s words made his brow knit in confusion. He wrapped his arms once again around Don, his battle hardened hand gently rubbing his brother’s shoulder.

“You kinda lost me, Don. What the shell do ya mean that ya ‘saw it’?”

Donatello had begun to chew on his lip slightly when Raph pushed for more information. He truly did not know how he was supposed to tell Raph the depths of what he saw without pole vaulting over the line of “troubled” into the realms of “flat-out crazy”. But if there was anyone that he felt could truly handle it, it was the turtle with him right now.

The genius reached his hand up, taking the wrapped emerald green hand that had gripped his shoulder and held it gently between both of his own. His lithe digits roamed each bend, each curve as the cogs in his mind spun furiously.

“Raphie… I have got something that I need to say.”

He had just watched Don’s careful exploration of his hand, letting the younger turtle take comfort in the momentary distraction that the act gave him. But when his brother spoke again, the tone truly troubled Raphael. It was a quiet admission, barely more than a whisper. A whisper so full of fear that it did not even sound like his brother’s voice.

“I’m listenin’…”

Donatello glanced upwards, his lip trembling as those memories surfaced once again. No longer the stuff of nightmares and silent torture. The mere thought of saying them outloud made them all too real.

“… Do you remember when we were hit with the time scepter?”

“Yeah… like I’ll forget that any time soon.”

Donatello nodded, a strained chuckle leaving his lips. Raphael had no way to know how much that statement held true for him as well.

But he would.

“When I came to… I was in this… horrible place…”


	2. Splinter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story is a prologue for the events in Epic Saga, detailing the passing of Master Splinter.
> 
> The ninjistu master fought courageously in battle, protecting his sons from the attack of The Foot Clan.
> 
> His efforts bought them time enough to escape, but not before suffering a grave and fatal wound.

The fluorescent lights in his laboratory flickered overhead as a train rushed along the subway tracks, rattling the walls of the subterranean lair. It was a phenomenon that he had grown accustomed to long ago, something familiar and predictable . However, the purple banded teen paid it no heed, too consumed was he on the perilous task at hand.

There was far too much at stake for him to devote any attention away from his expert hands.

Donatello worked frantically to stem the bleeding coming from the garish wound in his father’s abdomen. He had sutured many injuries in his life - but none as critical as this. He could not afford any mistake, could not risk second guessing any action. But he was fighting a losing battle. Even as he closed the wounds he knew that his sensei was existing on borrowed time only. The damage was far too substantial for him to possibly recover.

The old rat groaned feebly as his genius son stuck a needle into his arm. The plunger was pushed into the syringe which his son held and medicine flooded his veins, bringing with it a rush of warmth and relief.

Splinter barely registered the soft stream of tearful apologies coming from the brilliant shinobi as he was shifted, leaning against the turtle’s plastron as his wounds were bound with a fresh bandage and he was set back down onto the medical stretcher on which his son had laid him. He did not blame any of his children for this, he had sustained this wound in an honorable fight, defending those that he loved; his children, his friends… his family .

His sacrifice had allowed all of them to escape. It allowed them to live. There was no death more honorable. He welcomed his end, knowing that his misfit family would endure.

“ Dad ….” The rat slowly opened his eyes at the sound of his son’s voice. He was no longer in pain- but the world around him seemed hazy, however, he could clearly see his boy who was leaning down before him, his jaw quivering as he spoke, “… Sensei… I bought you some time, but… but there is nothing I ca-”

The rat raised a paw, resting it on his son’s face and softly shushed him. His voice cracked when he spoke, the words distorted by a sickening gurgle of liquid in his throat, “My… son… do not carry this burden… it is… my time…” Splinter drew in a ragged breath, blood coloring his lips as he coughed painfully. After another deep inhale of breath he managed to croak, “Please… your brothers. Let me… see them… one last time .”

The purple clad shinobi nodded briefly, letting his blood stained hand cover the weak paw which was pressed upon his cheek, desperately trying to commit the softness of his father’s fur to memory. He only wished that he was able to smell the aroma of tea on him, but try as he might there was only the bitter and coppery scents of blood and morphine in the air.

Time was running short, he could not allow himself to linger, lest it be too late for his family to say goodbye to their master. He rose and swiftly crossed the room, sliding the door of his lab open.

The dim of the lair was such a stark difference from the overbearing light of his makeshift operating room, but the shinobi could plainly see his brothers waiting in the hall doing, as he imagined, the same things they had been since he had closed that door many hours ago.

Michelangelo sat with his knees pulled up to his chest, hugging his legs and resting his head on the thick knee pads he wore. Raphael was beside him, one arm draped over his shoulders and a free hand rubbing his youngest brother’s forearm. Leonardo paced the hallway, his trench coat billowing behind him, rustling with each turn. At the sound of the metal door dragging across the floor each of their heads snapped up in unison, their eyes silently pleading with Donatello for the good news he did not have.

He stood before them, his arms and plastron stained crimson with the blood of their father, his own eyes begging for their forgiveness.

“ Donnie ?” The voice belonged to Raphael, but it was not a sound he recognized, the normally gruff and cocky edge of his brother’s voice had been exchanged instead for a quiet whimper much like a child who had lost their way.

Donatello took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, a feat which proved to be extraordinarily difficult while he was looking down at his hands, a macabre reminder of what was actually happening. Slowly and with the most even tone he could muster, which was one that still noticeably shook he quietly said to the group, “Dad… He… he does not have much time, guys. I… did everything I could. I made sure he is… comfortable…. But… he is not going to last the n-night. He wants to say good-….. goodbye .”

The brothers slowly rose from their places in the hallway and proceed to silently walk into the laboratory, their procession weighted heavily with each step which fell like the tolling of a bell, bringing them closer to the last time they would see their Master, their sensei, their father alive. The scene before the brothers was hard for even the strongest willed of them, their father limply laying on a bloodstained gurney, his favorite brown robe glistening crimson in the overhead light.

“My sons…”

The call was feeble, barely audible, but not one of the turtles missed it. Each of them rushed to their father’s side, encircling the rat in a close huddle. The ninjitsu master moved slowly, reaching his paw out to simply touch each of his sons the best that he could manage, whether it be a face, an arm or plastron he did not care, merely wanting to know that each of them was with him now. He took in a ragged and wet sounding breath, there was so much that he wanted to say, so much wisdom he wished that he could impart to his children before he go. But his time was drawing to a close and only the most important things could be said.

“I love you… my sons. I… am so proud … of the men you have become. Please…. care for one another… do not forget… you are family .”

Even the small sentiment had greatly drained him, the precious few words sapping nearly all of his energy. He closed his eyes, taking a few more deep breaths, each one uncomfortably tight in his chest. He hoped that his children knew the depths to which he loved them, he did not have the energy he needed to do it justice. He only hoped that he had shown them in their time together how dear each of them were to him.

He turned his head to face his eldest son, his dear Leonardo. Even through the haze of Morphine and blood loss he could vividly see the grey that had begun to cloud his son’s eyes, the ocean blue vibrance of youth fading away to a dim fog as his disease ate away at his sight. The dying rat placed a paw upon Leo’s cheek, gently rubbing the forest green scales with the pad of his thumb.

“Leonardo… you must… must take my place as…. Master of this clan… Take care of your brothers…” Master Splinter even managed a brief smile as he quietly added, “You will make me proud.”

There was no doubt in his voice. He had trained his sons their entire lives for this day. It was inevitable that he would leave them, he just hoped that he had done enough as their mentor and father to prepare them for this new chapter of their lives, a chapter without him by their side.

This was not such a bad end to his tale. And he would live on, through his sons. In their lives and actions - he too would endure .

His head limply turned to once again face his younger sons, their grief stricken faces telling him so many stories. Tales of anger, regret and helplessness. He hoped that they too would understand, in time.

“I… I love you all… please… please leave us, now, my sons.”

He knew that it was likely that they would not want to leave his side, but this was something that they need not see. Perhaps they would forgive him for sending them away. Perhaps.

The three youngest of the Hamato clan reluctantly left their father’s side- each of them giving him their own form of affection, a kiss, a hug, an affectionate nuzzle, a tearful “I love you, dad.” before being ushered out of the room by the genius boy he had raised.

Now he was alone with the heir of his legacy. The one among the shinobi brothers whom he had certainly been the hardest on, held to the highest standard. The one he had prepared to take his place.

He hoped he had prepared him well enough.

As the heavy metal door of the laboratory slid shut he turned his head to face the turtle beside him, “My son… I have for you… one last request…” His chocolate eyes had begun to well with tears, this was the most difficult thing he had ever asked of any of his sons, but he did so with a sad smile, hoping that Leonardo would understand, “You must help me pass on.. with dignity and honor… please .”

Leonardo, he who had so long tried to be a pillar of strength amongst his clan, lost his visage of composure. Tears had begun to fall from his eyes, further distorting his already misted vision. He brought a large green hand up to his face, wiping away those mutinous tears and took a deep breath, reminding himself that after this night he was the master of the Hamato Clan. He could not afford to let himself fall to pieces the moment that his brothers… and his father needed him the very most. He closed his eyes tightly but nodded briefly to his Master, “H-hai, father.”

Splinter smiled once again at his oldest son, he knew that his clan, his children were in good hands, leaving them in the care of the blue masked turtle. He was certain that his sons would endure. And his sacrifice had given them the opportunity to do so.

In the hallway Raphael paced before his brothers, fuming at Donatello who stood with his arms wrapped tightly around a quietly sobbing Michelangelo. “Don, ya can’t just call it quits - there has ta be somethin’ ya can do for him!”

“Raph, I… I did what I could. There… there is just too much damage, I tried to-”

“Ya didn’t fucking try hard enough Don!”

“Raph.. the wounds are too substantial… he has lost too much blood-”

“Well can’t ya do a transfusion or-”

“From what donor!?” He did not mean to snap at his brother as he did, but the genius had just come out of five hours of fruitless surgery on their father, exhausted every resource and option he had. Raph did not seem to understand the immense sense of failure he felt, the profound grief that was consuming him - knowing that it was up to him to save Splinter, and he had failed.

“When one of us gets hurt and needs a transfusion we have each other for donors, matching blood types! Splinter is unique , the only of his species. I used my entire store of blood for him, I used everything I had and it just wasn’t enough , Raph!”

His brother looked shocked and hurt for a moment at the venom in Donatello’s words. His own reply still had fire behind it, but it was obvious that Raph’s confidence had wavered slightly. “What if we raid a hospital or somethin’? There’s gotta be somethin’-”

“He needs blood, Raph! Which we simply do not have. His body WILL reject any blood we put into him. Would you rather have him slip away under the influence of Morphine or do you want him to be In agonizing pain as he has an allergic reaction to blood which literally poisons him? What would you have me do, Raphael? Can’t you see that I tried? I fucking tried, Raph !”

The red masked turtle stood in shock at his normally docile brother’s outburst. He wanted to continue arguing, to find some solution to save their father - but in his heart he knew that if Donatello was unable to find the solution it was likely that one simply did not exist.

They stood in heavy silence, staring one another down as if daring the other to open their mouth again, the only sound which reached them was the continued sniffling and ragged breaths of their youngest brother.

Neither could say how long they stood there, but all too soon came the fateful sound of the laboratory door opening once again. Leonardo exited the room, his head bowed to hide the pain which was etched on his features.

It was Donatello who broke the silence, asking his brother in little more than a whisper, “Is… is he?”

Leonardo took a deep breath and lifted his head to see his brothers as he responded in a solemn tone, “He is gone… But let us take solace that he died honorably- truly a warrior’s end.”

It was then that the three younger members of the clan noticed Leo’s katana, held loosely in his hand. The blade had been wiped clean- but each of them knew immediately what had transpired behind the closed door.

“You fucking bastard !” Raphael’s shout echoed through the lair, the ferocity in his voice was enough to rock the foundation of even the most stout warrior. But Leonardo did not so much as flinch at the words, as they merely echoed what he felt inside. The blue clad shinobi did not offer any resistance as his younger brother grabbed him, shoving him roughly against the solid brick wall of their hallway, Musashi clattering to the ground at their feet.

“How could you? You sick fuck !”

It was with a deadly calm that Leonardo replied, each word little more than a seething hiss as they fell from his lips, “It was sensei’s final request, Raphael-”

“And you were eager to fuckin’ comply, werent ya Fearless? Did ya even stop for a fuckin’ second Leo? Did you even feel a goddamn thing when ya fuckin’ murdered him?”

Leo’s calm visage was fading fast, he grabbed ahold of his brother’s hands and wrenched them off of the leather coat he wore, snapping back fiercely, “Stand down, Raphael! This was not your decision to make!”

Raphael’s let out a manic and condescending laugh as he shot back, “Yeah- but I guess it was your decision, huh!? Does it feel nice finally gettin’ ta be the leader!?”

“It was HIS decision Raph! HE wanted it to end this way. Who are you to deny him that? Who are any of us to deny him that!? Do you think I wanted this? Do you think I wanted to become the Master of this clan like this!? … How dare you … He was my father too!”

“And ya been a real great kid ta him, Leo. Who’d have thought that the way ta be his favorite kid was ta ram four feet'a steel inta ‘im!?”

“STOP!! JUST FUCKIN’ KNOCK IT OFF!” the shout came from the shinobi who had, until now remained silent, Michelangelo had turned away from his safe spot nestled in Donatello’s arms to face his two older brothers, tears streaking his face, his eyes bloodshot from crying. Now that every head was turned to him he seemed to lose his voice, his next words coming out in a whispered plea instead of the thunderous shout, “… He ain’t even cold yet… and you guys… did ya forget what he told ya?”

Donatello took a step forward, placing an olive green hand on Mikey’s shoulder and giving him a gentle squeeze to let him know that he was with him in this. The genius finished Mikey’s thought for him, “Care for one another… and do not forget that you are family .”

The words hung between the brothers for a great stretch of time before Donatello turned towards his red masked brother, slowly walking towards him. Every fiber of Donatello’s being was being channelled to prevent him from slipping into full blown panic as warning flags signaled him from every angle.

He could not let his family fall apart. Leo and Raph could not become estranged over this. If this was allowed to drive a wedge between them - the horrific events which he alone knew were possible would most certainly come to pass.

I can’t let that happen.

“Raph… Splinter…. Dad was already gone . There was no stopping this. The way that it ended… does it matter if it was by steel or Morphine or blood loss? Isn’t it far more important that he left how he wanted to go ? We are lucky that he lasted long enough to say goodbye… we should consider it a blessing that he was able to leave on his own terms .” The genius terrapin had always strayed away from even small insinuations of faith, but found himself saying those words before his normal cynicism could even begin to process it.

Donatello’s eyes began to fill with tears as he desperately tried to talk reason into his fiery sibling, “You know in your heart that Leo did not want that. You know that, Raphie.”

Raphael looked up at Donatello, the anger he felt was quickly being replaced with grief. It was far more comfortable for him to be angry. He knew how to deal with anger and he knew how to express it. This feeling though, it was new and it was terrifying. He let his pale green gaze drop to the ground between them and managed to nod his head before softly mumbling, “ I just… I don’ want ‘im ta be gone …”

At the sound of those walls of anger dropping away from Raphael each of his brothers came forward to him, none of them spoke a word, but they huddled together, holding one another tightly in the dim light of their home. A home which now seemed profoundly empty and quiet.

None of them could tell anyone when the embrace or the tears ended. None of them could recall when they filed into the living room and piled together on the couch, watching some mindless rerun on their oversized television. The rest of the evening was a blur as they leaned on one another, making tearful phone calls to their friends.

But each of them noticed the lights flicker softly overhead as a train rushed along the subway tracks, rattling the walls of the subterranean lair. It was a phenomenon that they had grown accustomed to long ago, something familiar and predictable .


End file.
